As a Child Sleep Consultant, I know that all children can have extreme tantrums when they’re exhausted, and I would love to help if that is the case with your little one, but this blog is actually not about sleep today. Today, I want to discuss the above picture of my sweet son. This is him directly after he had a 20 minute EXPLOSION because of the simple fact that he is two.
Since before the twins turned two, I wanted to make sure that I was very conscious of what happens during the period famously known as “the terrible two’s”. Ever since I became a mom, I truly started hating that phrase and wanted to try my hardest not to ever say that about my children. I know, I know, that’s something we all probably wish for as parents, right? We all hope that our children will never act out, be perfect angels that say “please” and “thank you” after every sentence, and always say “sorry” when they do something wrong. Truth is, perfect little toddler angels probably aren’t in the cards for anybody… and THAT’S OKAY!
During toddlerhood, our little’s are LEARNING SO MUCH, they’re EMOTIONS ARE SO HIGH, and this can make them SO FRUSTRATED! Not only is all of that going on, but then you have us parents that will let them play with markers one minute, and not the next. We want them to use their words and then we want them to be quiet. We want them to dress themselves, but we want them to hurry up. We want them to brush their teeth, but if they aren’t doing it right, we want to help them (which they don’t want). They want to do it ALL themselves! And of course we want them to learn and have responsibility, but only enough to keep them safe and sometimes only when it’s convenient for us… and their little minds can’t understand that. They get confused and upset because yesterday they got to feed the dogs, but today you forgot and did it yourself. So instead of them saying “But mommy, I wanted to feed them” They whine, hit, throw themselves on the floor and then want a hug two seconds later. They don’t understand why they can’t play with the toys they played with before naptime or why they can’t have another vitamin gummy today. At this age, not only are they overwhelmed with everything they are learning and not understanding why they can’t do everything us parents do, but they’re also in a stage where everything is “mine” (eye roll). So you teach them the concept of sharing, taking turns, and playing well with others. There are moments they will play so nicely together and then minutes later they will scream at each other, hit one another, and forgot how to possibly say the word “sorry”.
During these times as parents, it can be SO FRUSTRATING for us, too! There are moments that I find myself wanting to SCREAM at my children and then two minutes later they will have me laughing hysterically. There’s also times when we are out in public and I see an EPIC MELTDOWN brewing, I will try so hard to keep myself calm and collected, use the “proper” words to try and avoid the tantrum (and a majorly embarrassing scene), but when we’re at home, sometimes I’ll just let it happen or afterwards I find myself saying “sorry I yelled”. Talk about being inconsistent and confusing the poor kids!
The point is… As parents, we all have these great moments and these “terrible” moments with our toddlers, and it’s important to understand that every one of these moments is OKAY. It’s okay that we get mad, or want to cry, or want a large glass of wine before they even go to bed. It doesn’t mean we hate our children, it doesn’t mean that we are bad parents, and it certainly doesn’t mean they are terrible!
I may yell a lot and fear for their safety most of the time. But I also ALWAYS find myself staring at them in awe. Wondering, How did they learn that? When did they get so smart? Why are they SO funny? And my goodness, What makes them look at you out of nowhere, and say “Mom, I Love You”. Having toddlers may be hard at times, but these years are FAR FROM TERRIBLE.
So what do you say we try to squash that term together! What can we come up with? Transforming? Troubling? Transpiring? Touching? Tender? Let’s hear those ideas!